I've been in & out of falling asleep at my book for hours.
I had a strange dream about hunting with Mike (or possibly someone else at points) on Tibia. We were in the same room playing on the computers, & I was having problems with the laptops not working. People were attacking me & I'd panic, but they'd walk away. It was weird & made no sense.
I just woke up from this dream, just the very end of it. I'm walking with Kendra & I put on my brother's glasses or something, & I look at this boy walking by. He has long dark hair & a button up shirt in a cute messy way, very cute. I talk the glasses off, saying how cute he is, but the moment I take them off, he changes - he has shorter hair, a different face, ripped up clothes. I'm confused. I say something to him, how he doesn't look anything like I thought, & he's a punk guy, suddenly, smirking & saying, "Well, of course you wouldn't like the way I dress." I do something, then as he's driving by, I say something to him & spit in his hair. He is amazed at it & is driving off in the backseat of his friend's car proclaiming, "I love you, I love you." at me. I smirk & turn to Kendra, who promptly tells me to look at her with the glasses on & tell me what I see. I look & she's wearing big platform heels or something. I laugh & am about to say so, but the dream ends.
I woke up really disoriented; the first few sentences of this are rushed & were typed when I was really just too dizzy.
G'night.

Today was nice, weird moments & all. It was a very make-shift get together of sorts.
We all crowded around my kitchen, basically. Cake was out, we realised we needed a candle because my little brother had melted the one bought for today. I ran upstairs for a random 2 candle I had, lolz. (Private entry follows with explanation.) Candle is in, I decided Mike would help Den blow out the candle. Switch of seats, pictures, yar yar. We ended up taking off Den's tie & shirt & plopping cake in front of him, all of us standing around him like the creepy people we are, trying to get him to mash it all over. He did not for the longest time. Everyone eventually looked away & he started to, haha.
Pictures, standing around. Cake. (Both Mike & Kendra hate cake. I hate them.)
Then we walked to the diner near my house & got fries & coleslaw, ate that, & then Kendra went downstairs to get picked up by her dad. Mike & I discussed what we'd watch, etc. She came up awhile later, pouting because he did not come yet. We were watching Twilight again, lolz. Kendra brought up the child support stuffs, btw. (Friends only entry follows.)
Kendra left. We've been watching Twilight since.
I have pictures, but I'm just too much of a lazy scrub to post them currently.
We're both sleepy, & I'm probably going to pass out soon.

Look, though. :)


Btw, any of the promised follow entries will be done another time, too sleepy.
G'night! :)

Happy end of your birthday, big sleeping baby over there. <-----

We just gave Den a nice bath, loofas & ducks included.
He's taking a short nap, then I'm going to dress him. (He's going to wear jeans, a long-sleeved striped blue undershirt, an over shirt that's green & blue, & his new dino tie & socks, lolz.)
I took out his train finally. He can't quite push himself around on it yet, but he stands behind it & shoves it all around, haha.
My mum bought two cakes, one with "Happy birthday, Aiden" on it & one just plain, white & blue. both are medium-sized, pretty good.
So far, it's all good, in a nice quiet way.
Mike's taking a shower, then going to Tibia some more until mum gets back.
My little brothers made a funky little cake-thing out of play-doh, lolz.
I have no idea where Kendra is, though. @.@
I don't know if I want anyone over now. Though, it was only suppose to be her & Ethan anyway. But we're not really doing anything & I can't figure out where she is. I want her to come, because I miss her & I know she's been all messed up lately, as well as loves Den to death, but I also have that tiny fear of a confrontation of some type. I'm not good with being sensitive & I know she's having a hard time lately. Plus, I know she doesn't like Mike, doesn't like when I get back with Mike, etc.
But I do want her here. I'm considering sucking it up & calling. (Okay, realistically, I am calling whether or not anything, she's coming. lolz.)
I'm considering wearing a skirt, also. :P

Happy birthday, Aiden!
>:"DDDDDDDDDD

I forgot to mention, I woke up to Mike picking my nose.
Post after Aiden goes to bed.

My room smells like death.
Neither of us has showered since Tuesday night.
There's all kinds of cups & chinese food thrown around.
There's not even a sheet on my bed.
I'm missing Rocky Horror tonight.
I have no monies at all, thank you sushi cravings between two sushi-lovers.
Aiden's birthday is in two days.
I'm happy, all in all.
We're dating again, btw.

I fell asleep with Aiden for a few minutes again by accident.
I woke up to him asleep on my arm, so when I went to move him, I realised I had fallen asleep with the book I was trying to read to him on my head, haha.
Aiden makes me happy.
I have tons to write about, but not tonight.
G'night. :)

I had such a nice day.
I'm too lazy for details & possibly am about to go to sleep because I'm exhausted.
Tomorrow, or later, or even just in ten minutes when I am in pjs but suddenly decide I am not tired, I will post all about court, thrift stores all morning, & my evening downtown with Kendra & Jenna.
Kisses! >:*

I'm excited about Aiden's so soonly upcoming birthday.
He's walking back & forth in my room, dragging my pants that are attached to the belt he refuses to put down, haha. He's so smart, he's amazing. He just learned to really walk this week & has been walking great since.
I'm so happy. >x)

My mum has convinced me to not bother buying anything especially expensive, so I'm going for clothes & supplies mainly, which is most practical with a drooling, toy-wrecking baby, but! I can not help myself & must spend atleast a good sum of money on atleast one silly toy, along with the misc. amounts of cheap-er toys I will be buying.



Oh, instead of going to Chuck E. Cheese on his birthday, we're just going to have a nice little birthday thing at my house. Family, Kendra, Ethan. Cake & all. Then, on the first, we're going to go to Chuck E. Cheese.
I'm happy, happy, happy.

Btw! The Dunkin Donuts right between mine & Kendra's house (10- minute drive altogether) is hiring & I feel that that is destiny calling my fucking name, lolz. ;)
So, I'm going there sometime between 6am-3pm tomorrow to talk to the manager, Janet .. or Janice? One or the other. Hopefully she feels the Universe tugging at her collar, whispering "Destinyyyy!" as much as I do. ;)
Good day, loves!

Eight days!

Seven Eight places around Providence to apply at.
I will be productive this morning, I swear. x)

Good morning, 7am.
I love seeing you everyday. >:")

Tonight was nice.
See below.
( Below. )

I'm sleeeeepy. @.@

I have to jot down this one great moment, then I'm going to lay in my bed, read LOTR for about five minutes before passing out.

Kendra was sitting in my computer chair, I was on my bed, & Aiden was in his crib. I was staring at Den over Kendra's head, & I told her to look at him, so as she was swiveling around, mid "Hey baby bo--" he waved right at us. I screamed! Straight screamed. I did not think about it, it happened before I realised. He jumped, stopped waving, & was just shocked, haha. Then Kendra & I burst out into excited laughter & exclamations & all that about him waving, & me screaming, & just how intense that one moment was, hahaha.
Den can now wave. >:")

I am an awful relay of story. :P
G'night, loves! :")

Btw, Juju is going to help us dread Kendra's hair! I'm all happy. I like Juju alot & though we don't talk much, I'd like to.

Oh! I plan on flooding some more later tonight about Justin, probably.
I just realised how much I'd like to delve into our creepy little story, haha.
I might just end up privating it though, maybe.
Either way, ten days until Den boy's birthday!

He's laying in his crib, with his cheek to the sheet, eyes sleepily open, smiling up at me when I walk over to smile at him. He's such a sweetened little love. He always gives this one big breathe right before going to bed, & I just heard it. :)

Okay, I'm probably flooding about Aiden later too. :")
I'm seeing Kendra today, though!

EDIT:// I forgot to mention that Amanda asked me to hang out with her & company last night, just as I was exhausted & heading to bed. I haven't talked to her in ages, it would have been nice to go. Damn ye now, becoming normal sleeping pattern! lolz. ;P

BTW,
*Throws fit.*
I don't want to change my ugly fucking hair. :"(
It's not fair!

Good night, again.

I'm up to nothing again today so far.
Discussing dread-stuffs with Kendra & talking to Andrew about hanging out for the first time ever, haha.
I'm probably going over Kendra's house around 6pm, after her doctor's appointment.
I want french fries with cole slaw sauce so bad.
I think .. I may go walk for some. >.>"
Later, lovers.

I slept through midnight, & am going to be passed out by 1am (when she was really born & when she asked me to call) so I texted Dee a Happy Birthday just now.
I'm so sleepy.
Back to bed.

Happy Birthday, Momma Dee! <3

I'm bored. Time does not move fast enough. 3pm! 3pm! 3pm!
I'm going to lure Kendra over to go play somewhere, I'm tired of my house again.

Oh, I woke up immediately thinking about Aiden's birthday, making me anxious.

Danielle's birthday is tomorrow.
MSI is on Friday.
Court is on Monday.
Aiden's birthday is next Sunday.
Justin's is the next day.

Oh, the month of March disturbs me. @.@

I haven't slept yet.
Court is in exactly a week.
I am so tired & half-blank currently.
Ethan is calling Kendra back for me, because she just called but I had a frozen moment where I just stared at the phone.
I feel okay. Unimportant, strange, awkward, misplaced, & all nerves.
I don't want to go to court. I don't want to hear Mike say anything bad, I don't want to have to say anything at all.
I think I'm going to delete Mike off of everything again today. Which means Justin & Tara will go with him again too.
I feel so strange. Awful strange, but in a quiet way. I should have slept. 
I want to go to Kendra's.
I want to cry, more so, though.

I was out all day, then asleep, again, so here's another sum-up.
LJ, you are living in the past because of my freakish chronic-fatigue. ;)
I woke up early this morning, especially after staying up from 11pm until 6am, but I was awake. Kendra woke up shortly after me.
My mum decided she was going to take Aiden for a walk on the bike path near my house, so we decided we'd go along. We left at noon, walked until 1:30pm, taking pictures of pretty trees, then went to a Wendy's on the way, then walked back. We walked until 3pm, which was nice even if I was tired & complaining.
I was exhausted when we got back, very tired. We were going to take pictures for Jenna, but I was too tired & we gave up quickly.
We put paint on Aiden's hands & tried hard to get fun hand-prints. We almost failed, outside of one or two, haha. It was cute though, we were screaming & all over the place as he tried to paint-coatedly touch everything around, haha.
We watched Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban on tv until her dad called & I fell asleep with Aiden momentarily, then went back to bed without him as she got picked up.
I just woke up. Going back to laying in bed with a movie on.
G'night.

They've changed the Myspace picture uploader & it's awful, sitting here open, telling me 760 kilobytes of 1.57 megabytes have been sent so far even though it's been about ten+ minutes & the bar only has two little squares shown so far as far as progress.
Well. I have time to kill now.
I was going to put up the pictures in here, but figured Myspace is faster, which it isn't now after all. Fucking Tom. :O
I just had some cold chinese food. My left eye is blurring alot, I should take out my contact. Beetlejuice is on. I'm tired.
I'll put up any un-myspaced pictures tomorrow or later if I wake up again.
Ugh @ Myspace. I'm too tired for this.

I'm going low-key for tonight, I suppose.
My outfit is probably going to be;
black see-through-y long sleeved shirt,
black tight jeans,
leopard-print belt!,
scarf of some sort,
maybe my leopard-print furry vest,
& I'm considering my big blue & black moon boots, haha.
I won't be dressed up, but I will be taller than usual? Hahaha.
Tonight should be good. :)
I wish it would start already.

I'm awake! :")!
This is great. I am up, Aiden is up, the sun is up!
I'm going to give Den a bath, then figure out outfit options as I clean my room up abit. :)

I bought a leopard print furry vest, zebra-print furry high heels (which are not as ugly as they sound), some underwear, & slacks for tonight.
Aiden started screaming as I was trying on clothes & would not stop the whole next twenty minutes. He was screaming & throwing himself around. It was horrible, it scared the shit out of me. He's probably just teething, but it was awful. I've never seen him so bad. He turned purple-red & was spitting everywhere. He didn't stop until just now, when we finally got home & laid him down to change him & all.
I'm exhausted, anxious, & worried. I have to shower & I basically blew off Tom again, I think. >.<"

I dreamed of a boy I've been dreaming of lately. I don't know who he is, I think he sort of resembles Tom but taller with maybe longer hair. We're comfy together, good friends, & we're always together in the dreams, flirting. In this one, I kept having strange delusions in the dream & I was telling him so, but he was being silly to me, touching my butt & trying to hold me close while I playfully-pushed at him. He reminded me of Justin alot, with his demeanor & the way he responded to anything I said. I thought so in the dream & found that strange.
I can't remember the dream itself, just the feeling. Two people that may or may not like each other, talking & teasing each other. Arms around me, comfy. Friend & lover.
It was sweet, if anything. I have a dream-crush.
I woke up & realised I had fallen asleep with Aiden in my arms, facing the edge of the bed, & freaked out.

Aiden can now basically dance properly.
Before he use to bounce in place anytime music came on, but now he bounces side to side in a funny impression of a gangstah! dance. ;P
YEAH, BOI!
Also, the other night, he kept shaking his head at me over & over, with me doing it back, then he just stopped, stared at me, & bitch-slapped me right across the face, haha.
I'm so proud of my son. :P

18 more days! >:"D

Shiiiiiiit.
Found the paper, training dates are:
Thursday,  5pm -9pm.
Friday, 11am -5pm.
Saturday, 10am - 4pm.

So ..
I can't help Tom with his outfit, unless he can come down early, or we can go on Friday, but we couldn't even go together earlier than around 6 something, maybe 7ish.
& I really doubt I'd ever be able to make it back down here by 10am, Saturday morning.
lolz @ shit. >:"(

That attempt to sleep failed, dear LJers that can not read the zillion posts I privated tonight.
But I'm happy as a little fucking bug right now. >:"D
K, g'night! <3

I'm happy.
Went to Providence Place with Kendra & her dad, went shopping around.
I'm too tired to write out everything, but I bought a gorgeous leopard print belt (<3 @ clearance; $26 belt was now $12!), Kendra bought a cute expensive flannel shirt.
I had Tacobell, again, & got sick, again, haha. We stalked some random band that was wandering around, then made her dad ask who they were, haha.
Her dad got us chocolates at Godiva afterwards. Tonight was nice.
I love Kendra. :")
I'm home, happy, listening to Silverchair while spamming Ethan with pictures from today.

LOOK!


Happy, happy. :")
Btw, the people going to Rocky Horror with me are - Kendra, Tom, Jenna, Dani, maybe Dylan, maybe Nicole, maybe Jackie poo & then maybe Andy, Amanda, & Quinn if he actually asks them.
I'm excited!

I took a sleeping pill & I'm all lolzy & staring hard at the screen as I talk to Tom & Ethan.
I will probably be going to bed shortly. I am beginning to pulse. I made pizza bites, though.
I'm happy, excited for Rocky this Friday & I can feel every rib in me right now somehow. o.o
G'night!

I slept on & off the whole day, again. >:/

I sent it! I sent it!
I had a nice walk. It started snowing down white little puffs a few minutes before I started out, so it was really nice to quietly walk down empty streets with snow falling all over & settling very prettily in my hair as it was blown lightly around my face.
Green hair looks great with snow in it, btw. :")
This morning is just lovely. I stopped & bought an iced tea.
I'm in a great mood, all peaceful & happy. 
I'm talking to Ethan & Chris.

Good morning, pretty girls of LJ!

I found an old message between me & Justin in my Inbox.
It was sweetly simple enough to stab hard.

I had simply asked, "Still love me?"
& he had responded, "Of course."

That was all, but it still got to sting for a second.

I woke up late, & didn't decide to do anything until even later, so now I'm sitting here bored. :(

I stayed up until 7am, but I am oddly awake & oh so happy right now. :")

We're both still awake, oddly. I'm photobucketing, Kendra's watching Heroes.
I will now tell you how my day went, of course.
We got to Thayer, got yummy sushi to go, played in Spectrum India for abit, always with hats, then bussed to Providence Place because I hadn't eaten yet & wanted Tacobell. We got there, wandered about, tried on the previously-mentioned zebra striped skinny pants. Pictures. Then ate. We decided not to go to a movie & played in Hot Topic, me hoping to find a cute shirt to buy. We tried on skanky tutu dresses, I tried on a cute funky bathing suit that matches the bandana I ended up buying. I bought pretty pink-orange nail polish & we left. We wandered some more, tried on bathing suits at Victoria's Secret, etc, until the mall was closing, then we sat & waited for our bus while we watched people stream by from the monster truck show. It was pouring as we ran to KP. Grabbed a bus, found a sign on the street as we were walking to my house, got here & that's about it.
All in all, it was a nice day. I can't even count how many comical things happened today.

( Little details. )

K, that was my day! :"D
I also got a druken text from Tom tonight;
"Emmy! I am quite drunk right now! and I am declaring my love for you. <3" to which I responding asking how his drunk was going & he answered, "Buttons! Buttons! I half no idea what it is! And by it I mean anything! that means i have no clue what is going on. Which is the case. Heyyyyy you're cute. ^.^" which made me lol. 

Tonight was alot of fun.
I'm too tired.
Off to watch Heroes with Kendra who will fall asleep relatively soon when I probably will not.
We took cute pictures tonight. We wore zebra skinny jeans.
G'night, loves. :")

I'm happy.
I'm going to shower, then me & Kendra are going to Thayer, I'm getting sushi, then we're going to play at the grassy knoll, as long as it is not too cold out.
Then we're probably going to get chinese & watch a movie at Providence Place.
I'm happy.
I'm also really happy to be talking to Andy again lately.

I just wanted to pop on really quick & laugh at myself. I woke up to my mum handing me food. As I was eating, I shifted the blankets & was surprised to find myself staring at my cellphone in my bed again. A text was open, from Tara, that had been sent an hour ago.
lolz @ catching myself sleep-texting finally. I didn't delete it this time! :P
Okay, texting then going back to bed.

I never write my own lately. I use the cache words, as I'm verifying my account. I thought it was kind of a cute hidden joke, my journal's name being words to prove I'm not a robot. ;)
I don't especially like this one's, but it was acceptable at the time. Plus, most of them are now strange German names, so I had to settle on something.

I can't sleep. I've been up all night, watching Heroes while I worked out, played with make up, shaved my legs :P, & just sat around in general.
I'm so tired. I hate this. My day is ruined, again.
I'm still in a good mood, though. I'm wearing pretty purple make up for no reason. :)
Btw, I got to 11 necklaces before I gave up, haha. I still have about five left, but most are chokers or ribbons that I won't take off. 

Total count this time: 17.

StupidFacebook:d***o.
StupidFacebook:Hahahhaaha.
StupidFacebook:d***o is no swear!
Face of Dog:d|ldo
Face of Dog:it's a toy!
Face of Dog:this is a kids game
StupidFacebook:Hahahahahaha.
StupidFacebook:>.>
Face of Dog:you'd think they go hand in hand
Face of Dog:kids like toys
StupidFacebook:Hahahahahahhaa.

I'm in a really good mood randomly. :")
Tibia is full of fire right now, haha.
I'm bored. I'm taking off all of my necklaces. Going to count how many I have now, then figure out which I'll wear. They're starting to randomly choke me now, so I'm going to ease up on the thinner chains. I've got seven off so far. They're all tangled & it hurts to untangle them. Haha.
Kendra wants to go up to Boston tomorrow, since Tom is driving up to see Dustin. But he didn't invite me to go this time, & I don't want to intrude, try to invite myself, then Kendra, then say, "HEY! LET'S GO TO BOSTON TOO!"
I feel kind of weird suddenly.
Okay, off to sing along to songs really loud & beg my mum to talk to go get me sushi. :P
I want chinese food, actually.

I'm really tired & starting to worry more about how late I'll wake up again today. I'm doing the applications today. I got a few more yesterday. I have enough to go & spend the day busy, fixing myself.
I just wanted to say, it's funny how different my private entries are from these. I really have an odd habit of down-playing my writing, out of fear of being received. I'm trying so constantly on here to show everything, but I never really seem to be, still.
I read my other LJs, full of private entries, & I can believe I might be a writer someday, or just be proud of my writing style years from now. I read the public ones, & the difference is so tangible, you would think someone else was writing them.
I don't really like that & want to try to work on it. Honestly, I might just make this full-out private soon. Or make an LJ strictly for my own purposes. I'm feeling something new coming on.
Oh, the levels of honesty are complex.
Good night, pretties.

This Bev making out with my dog.
You are all perverts for looking at this.

This is me. Emily has kidnapped me.
I am not a lesbian, but I am naked.
My lips really aren't that big.

I didn't do much today.
I called Stop & Shop, but they're not hiring until April. I looked around & emailed a few places on craigslist, called one, but I have to go apply in person there, too.
So, I've gathered atleast five or more places to get to tomorrow, ranging from around the block, to Charles street, to Cranston, to Warwick, haha. As well as down to the Animal Rescue League. :D
It's worth a shot, now that the one place I had someone to refer me at isn't even hiring.
GED guy did not call back, & this makes me antsy. He was really excited about me participating, I don't understand what is going on. Either way, I passed, again, with perfectly great flying colors. They're suppose to call you. I don't know.
(I feel like I have a very funny relationship going on with this GED stuff. I called, they were interested, I took the test, they were excited, I stopped responding, they eventually gave up, I call again, they are excited again, I take the test again, then they stop returning my phone calls because the time has passed, bitch! They've moved on! :P)
Outside of getting engaged to Tom, I haven't done anything interesting.
Tibia for awhile, still on it now. Considering searching desperately for Ambien, because the pills I took last night were heinous & I'm hoping Ambien will work.
IMing with Jenna now. Tits & Tom. :P

( Want to get hitched? )


I am now engaged. >:P

EDIT:// MaurtterofAFauct (8:00:26 PM): ..tom isnt wearing rainbow is he?
EDIT:// dogface1255 (8:06:18 PM): so... I really can't tell how serious you guys are right now :D

I'm awake & going to Tibia with Ethan for abit.
I'm not going to post until later tonight, I'm hoping to start doing that instead of constantly posting & ruining your Friends' page. ;)
Good day, lovies.

Two hours of sleep, maybe?, & awake for the rest of the night.
I wish sleeping pills would just work for me.
lolz @ last option never working out.